Saturday 7 May 2016

Why do I do this?

Last month was the first time I really didn't feel like going to the CWIC lunch...the one I instigate every month as part of the "Cambridge Women in Construction Network".

I had been feeling pulled in all directions all week.  I was tired and I was dreaming of utopian worlds where I didn't need to work but I still felt stretched and challenged, where my children appreciated what I do for them and where health, weight and aging issues took care of themselves.

Luckily someone came to the lunch who had not been before - as happens most months - and asked about the history of what we did.  I found myself going back over why I had started the idea of Cambridge Women in Construction in the first place and this has fed into my ideas of where to go next.

The crux has always been about knowing women exist in the construction industry.

I have a pet grumble which is the disappearance of women's history in general.  It means generation after generation a girl or woman feels like she is being ground-breaking if she does something, let's say, non-standard, in her life.  A woman, somewhere, has already done just about everything there is to do at some point in history but her story gets forgotten.

I don't believe it matters whether we have 50/50 men and women in every job.  I do think it's a problem when there is a substantial decline in the number of women working compared to studying or qualifying within a profession.  I also think men and women communicate, prioritise and rationalise differently and those differences need to be understood when there is a workplace gender imbalance.  This is undeniably the case in the construction industry.

What I have learned in the 4 years of get-togethers and communication with women in the CWIC circuit is this:
  • we like knowing a female work-specific group exists, even if we don't feel the need to engage
  • we like sharing common experiences, challenges, frustrations.
  • we like to be informal, we can be direct, open and honest in an all female environment in a way which is sometimes surprising, often refreshing, even a relief
but
  • we will not prioritise any of this over our work, family or other life commitments
  • we are not good at properly introducing ourselves, asking each others' names or getting contact details 
  • we do not exploit contacts within the industry in the way our male colleagues do
So...as well as knowing we exist, CWIC meet-ups have the potential of all of the above...in theory.

But to be honest it's all a bit hit and miss.  Many people only come once.  Many people thank me, many say they have really enjoyed coming.  I get lots of apologies for not coming when I send out reminders to over 80 women but rarely an "I'll be there".  I feel that calling CWIC a 'network' is a  misnomer.

I wish I could do more to organise, inspire, connect and engage with the women I email every month but I am struggling as it is. There are dozens of local women in business/entrepreneurs/technology groups and it's tempting to redirect people to one of these.

We women in construction are as diverse in personalities as our jobs demand - some of us are quiet observers, some of us are dynamic job-getters, some sticklers for detail, some with the 'big idea', computer nerds, tree-huggers, site boots and high heels, they are all in the mix.  LinkedIn, Facebook, Meetup - are all ways for us to be 'friends' but without engagement we become a floating mass of silent little photographs who mean nothing to each other.

I am setting up a "GroupSpaces" site as a final attempt to build real connections.  This will act as a 'members only' directory.  It will include an events diary and a forum.  It also allows me to keep an accurate contact list and coordinate emails and reminders more easily.  I will be sending out invitations soon. 

Well done if you have read to the end of this blog.  It's taken me over 3 hours as I hesitate, ruminate and fret about why I am doing this.  I suppose I must still believe in it.