Tuesday 6 June 2017

It's cold and pouring outside and it's the beginning of June.

It's the week after 'half term'. 

It used to annoy me greatly when parents I worked with talked about 'half term' as if I, a non-parent, should also have this week in my diary: a period not to arrange meetings or expect replies to urgent emails.  Now I do it too, and I push through that week, working and parenting like trying to do a full length underwater. 



This week I have re-surfaced but, inevitably, I am still some way from the end of the pool.

I am trying to hold on to all the Good things I have done even if at the same time there are things I could have done better but honestly, I feel rather drained.

Three of my projects are on site at the moment.  They are all domestic projects and range through small alterations, extensive refurbishment to completely new build.  In my role as architectural designer I guide my clients through the new, unsettling, expensive building process and do my best to mediate all the new relationships with consultants, contractors, inspectors and all.  Good design isn't enough anymore, one needs to be able to listen, empathise, communicate and problem solve. 

Sometimes I really do feel their pain, their frustration.  I wonder over everything and think what I could have done better.  I feel a bit sick.  This is all part of my job and if I'm tempted to feel down about it, it occurs to me that it is part of a lot of people's job. 

Later today I'll have a regular meeting with a social worker, she faces even more critical and personal crises in people's lives every day.  The police officers and investigators of counter terrorism under scrutiny in the news today have to find a way of coming to terms in their own minds with the course of events that form their daily work. Our church minister is off on sabbatical to 'top up' his emotional well being.  How do they manage? Working on my own I recognise I am vulnerable to a slef-doubting chatterbox in my head. Sometimes I find myself longing for a job with no human interaction - is there such a thing?

Mental health has had a high profile recently and rightly so but I'm wondering if the thing that needs our attention, perhaps as a preventative measure to mental health problems, is emotional health.  We know we work long hours, we know that with email, smart phones and flexible working our jobs weave into our personal lives more than ever. What tricks and tools do we have to protect our personal emotions from emotional work?

As you might guess, writing this little piece has been one of those tools for me.  I know that human interaction, while challenging, also gives me a buzz in my job: I love searching out the vision in a client's head and translating it into a possibility, I love a banter with a builder on top of scaffolding or winning over a planning officer with a careful, respectful telephone conversation.  I'm going to look for some more emotional protection though - the PPE of the solo consultant and I think I might start with my lovely network and find myself a mentor, then I can enjoy the swim!