So what seems relevant to a woman in construction in Cambridge as we slide towards the end of 2015?
On being a woman...
Well I've just listened to a radio programme called the Misogyny Bookclub on the Story of Eve and it's impact on our view of women which has left me feeling pretty flat.
I still ponder the discussion on Woman's Hour about Women in Architecture and why they never get to the bottom of an apparent lack of success yet find lots of women architects to talk to (my view? talk to the ones who don't 'make it' and reevaluate what you call success and/or 'an architect').
I'll be 44 in a couple of weeks and I'm taken aback by the speed of all those "signs of aging"...I wanted to age gracefully and for that read gradually...
On working in construction...
Inquiries have been pretty steady but progression is a bit stop and start and I'm starting to see how one needs many projects in the pot in the hope that a few will go the distance.
Builders are busy and getting interest and having any idea of costs is a challenge.
On Cambridge...
Can you keep up with the changes? We had a public consultation on new road layouts and social housing near us (Yay! It's not all £1million plus houses getting built).
and then, well, I guess we're thinking about Christmas and then a New Year and some new resolutions - watch this space.
Tuesday, 24 November 2015
Monday, 28 September 2015
I enjoyed our lunch-time meet up last week sooo much. It gave me exactly what I wanted / needed:
- stimulating conversation
- a laugh
- contact with the wider world
- reassurance
- food for thought (and a nice halloumi salad for my tummy)
I remember talking to a woman who had tried to start a similar group a few years ago and she said they quite quickly ran out of things to talk about. That just doesn't seem to happen with CWIC. Perhaps it is because we come from multi-disciplines. Perhaps it's because we only meet once a month and there are different people there every time.
It also surprises me how readily we talk about 'women's issues'. In my experience these are 'risky' topics in general company and with people you don't know. A bit like talking about politics or religion. We heard about an engineering firm and a contractor who both run programmes to improve awareness and support around gender issues (I wonder if there are architecture firms that do this). We talked about unconscious actions on all sides - how women nod in conversation to show they are listening and encourage the speaker, how men nod to say they've got it, now move on. We noticed how, although we all made a point of shaking hands with men at a meeting, we hadn't shaken hands with each other (bar one). So then we did shake hands with each other and we realised it gave us a chance for eye contact and to give our name and to hear the other person's name and I, for one, resolved to make sure I do this more often.
It strikes me that women are aware that they communicate differently and struggle for ways into a conversation with a group of men. Out of work and in a balanced gender group the conversation topics can be more varied. But, just as I have found myself talking about hairdryers and 'not having enough time to exercise' with women, so men can bond over formula 1 and whichever current sports tournament is on. There's a really interesting summary on male/female conversation styles here.
I remember consciously deciding whether to join the pre-meeting rugby banter once. These were my options:
1. try and join in:" no I didn't watch France, Ireland but I did see them play Italy and I thought their line-out's were scrappy and Italy should've won"
possible outcomes - shocked silence, competitive probing questions which reveal I'm really just repeating what my Dad said, being thought 'laddish', being brought into the conversation and settling down to the meeting
2. join in with self-depreciation, "oh I don't know anything about rugby, it's not my thing" maybe risk a joke about funny shaped balls
possible outcomes - shocked silence, condescending reassurance, being brought into the conversation and settling down to the meeting
3. silent paper shuffling, writing the date in my notebook and drawing a pointless margin
possible outcome - nobody notices, others find you aloof, someone starts a one to one conversation, everyone settles down to the meeting.
Sadly, despite being a quite rugby fan I don't know much about women's rugby and didn't feel like challenging the majority so on that occasion I went for option 3.
- stimulating conversation
- a laugh
- contact with the wider world
- reassurance
- food for thought (and a nice halloumi salad for my tummy)
I remember talking to a woman who had tried to start a similar group a few years ago and she said they quite quickly ran out of things to talk about. That just doesn't seem to happen with CWIC. Perhaps it is because we come from multi-disciplines. Perhaps it's because we only meet once a month and there are different people there every time.
It also surprises me how readily we talk about 'women's issues'. In my experience these are 'risky' topics in general company and with people you don't know. A bit like talking about politics or religion. We heard about an engineering firm and a contractor who both run programmes to improve awareness and support around gender issues (I wonder if there are architecture firms that do this). We talked about unconscious actions on all sides - how women nod in conversation to show they are listening and encourage the speaker, how men nod to say they've got it, now move on. We noticed how, although we all made a point of shaking hands with men at a meeting, we hadn't shaken hands with each other (bar one). So then we did shake hands with each other and we realised it gave us a chance for eye contact and to give our name and to hear the other person's name and I, for one, resolved to make sure I do this more often.
It strikes me that women are aware that they communicate differently and struggle for ways into a conversation with a group of men. Out of work and in a balanced gender group the conversation topics can be more varied. But, just as I have found myself talking about hairdryers and 'not having enough time to exercise' with women, so men can bond over formula 1 and whichever current sports tournament is on. There's a really interesting summary on male/female conversation styles here.
 |
| England's Natasha Hunt (scrum half) in last year's Rugby World Cup |
I remember consciously deciding whether to join the pre-meeting rugby banter once. These were my options:
1. try and join in:" no I didn't watch France, Ireland but I did see them play Italy and I thought their line-out's were scrappy and Italy should've won"
possible outcomes - shocked silence, competitive probing questions which reveal I'm really just repeating what my Dad said, being thought 'laddish', being brought into the conversation and settling down to the meeting
2. join in with self-depreciation, "oh I don't know anything about rugby, it's not my thing" maybe risk a joke about funny shaped balls
possible outcomes - shocked silence, condescending reassurance, being brought into the conversation and settling down to the meeting
3. silent paper shuffling, writing the date in my notebook and drawing a pointless margin
possible outcome - nobody notices, others find you aloof, someone starts a one to one conversation, everyone settles down to the meeting.
Sadly, despite being a quite rugby fan I don't know much about women's rugby and didn't feel like challenging the majority so on that occasion I went for option 3.
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