Why do I do this?

Last month was the first time I really didn't feel like going to the CWIC lunch...the one I instigate every month as part of the "Cambridge Women in Construction Network".

I had been feeling pulled in all directions all week.  I was tired and I was dreaming of utopian worlds where I didn't need to work but I still felt stretched and challenged, where my children appreciated what I do for them and where health, weight and aging issues took care of themselves.

Luckily someone came to the lunch who had not been before - as happens most months - and asked about the history of what we did.  I found myself going back over why I had started the idea of Cambridge Women in Construction in the first place and this has fed into my ideas of where to go next.

The crux has always been about knowing women exist in the construction industry.

I have a pet grumble which is the disappearance of women's history in general.  It means generation after generation a girl or woman feels like she is being ground-breaking if she does something, let's say, non-standard, in her life.  A woman, somewhere, has already done just about everything there is to do at some point in history but her story gets forgotten.

I don't believe it matters whether we have 50/50 men and women in every job.  I do think it's a problem when there is a substantial decline in the number of women working compared to studying or qualifying within a profession.  I also think men and women communicate, prioritise and rationalise differently and those differences need to be understood when there is a workplace gender imbalance.  This is undeniably the case in the construction industry.

What I have learned in the 4 years of get-togethers and communication with women in the CWIC circuit is this:

• we like knowing a female work-specific group exists, even if we don't feel the need to engage
• we like sharing common experiences, challenges, frustrations.
• we like to be informal, we can be direct, open and honest in an all female environment in a way which is sometimes surprising, often refreshing, even a relief

but

• we will not prioritise any of this over our work, family or other life commitments
• we are not good at properly introducing ourselves, asking each others' names or getting contact details 
• we do not exploit contacts within the industry in the way our male colleagues do

So...as well as knowing we exist, CWIC meet-ups have the potential of all of the above...in theory.

But to be honest it's all a bit hit and miss.  Many people only come once.  Many people thank me, many say they have really enjoyed coming.  I get lots of apologies for not coming when I send out reminders to over 80 women but rarely an "I'll be there".  I feel that calling CWIC a 'network' is a  misnomer.

I wish I could do more to organise, inspire, connect and engage with the women I email every month but I am struggling as it is. There are dozens of local women in business/entrepreneurs/technology groups and it's tempting to redirect people to one of these.

We women in construction are as diverse in personalities as our jobs demand - some of us are quiet observers, some of us are dynamic job-getters, some sticklers for detail, some with the 'big idea', computer nerds, tree-huggers, site boots and high heels, they are all in the mix.  LinkedIn, Facebook, Meetup - are all ways for us to be 'friends' but without engagement we become a floating mass of silent little photographs who mean nothing to each other.

I am setting up a "GroupSpaces" site as a final attempt to build real connections.  This will act as a 'members only' directory.  It will include an events diary and a forum.  It also allows me to keep an accurate contact list and coordinate emails and reminders more easily.  I will be sending out invitations soon. 

Well done if you have read to the end of this blog.  It's taken me over 3 hours as I hesitate, ruminate and fret about why I am doing this.  I suppose I must still believe in it.








  

I've had a busy start to the working year with lots of lovely inquiries and new projects - seems it's not just gym memberships and healthy eating on folk's new year agenda.

My own personal resolutions focus on money - understanding it, not being scared of it (or the lack of it), working with it.  I heard myself admitting to a friend that I "am not very good with money" and acknowledging that this was NOT A GOOD THING for someone who owns her own business.
So...never mind food diaries, mine is a spending diary and I will look at my account balances and I will keep my accounts up to date.

My self-help-financial-guru is the lovely Alvin Hall...
 


Him off of the TV and radio - I think I remember him from the early 90s and now with some very readable books.

ANYWAY, I'm still on the first chapter but one of the first things that has hit me is the idea of 'knowing your price'.  This might be about your ultimate aim - a dream house/car/holiday, lottery win type figures or it might be about what you know you need to make ends meet.

I consider myself to be very lucky in all that I have.  I know there are people with more than me but I know there are also many with less.  I don't feel comfortable talking about money or asking for it or even admitting to wanting it.  These feelings have to do with the social constructs around money and it is a relief to admit my discomfort.

'Knowing my price' forced me to look again at my overheads and running costs for my business.  Then I had to be honest with myself about the money I spend on clothes, presents and trips to the hairdresser.  Then it forced me to have a conversation with my husband about how we spend the money we each bring in and what we would like to aim for as a family.  With that information I was then able to look at my fee strategy.  I was able to look at my available hours and what I would need to charge to meet my target and see how that corresponded to the work stages of a project.  It was a relief to feel comfortable about the figures knowing they represented my known needs and expenses.  I didn't need to worry about what other people were charging, that's up to them and if I don't get the work based on these figures then clearly I need to review.

It all seems blatantly obvious once you've done it and probably more money savvy / driven types are wondering what my problem is...but maybe if you've hesitated about asking for a raise or had sleepless nights over a fee bid or job quote, then you might know where I'm coming from.